Wednesday, March 9, 2011

We are ready to order.

No you're not, you liar! Because I'll stand here for the next five minutes while you discuss, debate, and decide what you are in the mood for as a table and individually. It's ok that I just got sat two new tables, that I have to greet and get drinks for. It's ok that I have two other tables staring at me intensely and impatiently waiting for their food to be delivered. It's fine, I know their food should be ready right now; while their hot food is getting cold and their cold food is getting warm. I'm sure this is my fault for asking if you were ready to order yet. You said "Yes", but strangely have not even ordered an appetizer or salad as a starter. No, it's fine, keep yelling at your kids to find out what they want to eat. I'd ignore you and keep coloring as well. Oh, by all means, please discuss every meal you have had this week to help narrow down your options. I'll just stand here and play Angry Birds on my phone or construct a bomb out of a toothpick and gum to blow you to kingdom come. How in the hell did you even come to the decision to leave the house today? I'd come back in a few minutes, but I know as soon as I walk away you will flag down my manager to complain that you haven't seen your server and have been ready to order for 10 minutes now; because you have already demonstrated to me your capacity for intelligence. None!

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